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Where to Start Developing Self-Confidence
from:J Sharkey
Everything had its foundation during childhood. This is the first juncture by which we have learned that life is a great adventure (or misadventure), the stage by which we understood that living is a mixture of stuffs that we understand and do not understand. This is the phase of life when we have become accustomed with the systems of living and the innate possibilities that we face. The complexities, the simplicity. Everything stems out from childhood.
Like most people, you might have noticed that you are not most fearful as a child. Instead, your fears have only manifested when you became jaded and despaired for fixed living. You were not even afraid of falling until someone told you that it hurts and until you felt it yourself.
That's when fear developed. But prior to it was your self-confidence.
People would argue that you were confident only because you knew nothing of being hurt or of becoming a failure. That's a possibility but this still does not negate the fact that you have an innate confidence that you somehow lost during your misadventures with life. Having said that, we may then say that in the same way, we can redevelop our confidence.
Developing self-confidence is a matter of knowing first where you stand. Your terrain must be clear so your mind will be given the paths to regaining your self-esteem. You cannot point yourself to a destination if you do not know where is your footing. You have to know where you are before you even get to your desired point.
It may seem easy to evaluate yourself yet this may be the most critical part. In evaluation stage, you have to be truly honest. Strip yourself off all impure thoughts and focus only on those that will expose you the truth.
When people begin with developing their self-confidence, they still have the baggages they had in the past. Thus, they tend to overlook what truly lies within themselves. Their hopes then are overshadowed with creepy lies like "nothing would turn out good in the end, so why try?"
You know better than believe in that.
Though both may be used as your motivating factors in developing self-confidence, one of them may cause you destruction. Self-criticism differs largely from self-evaluation through the attitude by which you view things.
These two will both expose your flaws and perfection. Yet self-criticism will always use the harsh light in the evaluation of yourself. Once we gathered everything and start labeling each of our attributes with either positive or negative mark, we will find with self-criticism that most would be negative. Evaluation, on the other hand, tells us to be more aware of the things that we have and to become confident of developing those that we don't have, say much of our self confidence.
In a way, we become judgmental of ourselves when we use criticisms in evaluating our attributes.
But your flight towards developing self-confidence does not stop with knowing what it is in you and those that you do not have. It needs some action before anything is achieved. But these actions are not limited only to physical exertion but also to the actions that would only come from the mind. In a vague way we can define this motivation.
Your mind must set what the physical body would do to be able to develop your self-confidence.
Many would say that we can regain our self-confidence by doing stuffs that we are really good at. That way, our egos would be boosted with thoughts that are drug-like in effect. It doesn't necessarily mean that when we develop our skills and talents, people should know about them. This is inevitable, no matter how isolated you are in your own gallery or backyard unless you are living in a cave somewhere, people would find out what's brewing in your pot. Be good at anything that you have the potential to excel. This is one sure path towards regaining your self-confidence.
Not only would activities divert you from self-mutilation, they would also help you shine out in your own fashion.
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